I am feeling quite hurt and a little ticked off. This past weekend was really rotten and so was this morning.

This past weekend, I was only working for one day at the local Winn-Dixie in my area. I did not mind that so much as what one customer's kid did to me. It started out as follows: (1) I accidentally stepped on a two-year old's toe and was about to apologize, (2) I did not get the chance to apologize as the kid proceeded to kick me in the shins on my right leg (luckily I do not bruise easily), and (3) the mother came up to me and I told her that I was going to apologize to her son, but she cut me off and said that I deserved it because I was white and berated me, saying that all white people need to be taught a lesson for what white people, since the beginning of time, had done to all (and I don't want to offend anyone by saying this) black people and that white people should be given the same treatment as whites had done in the past to blacks since slavery times. And she said that white people are not worthy of equal treatment. Really nice, huh? And to think that she is putting blame on whites that were not even born during the Civil War and in Martin Luther King's time. I felt sorry for the mother for her racist beliefs, but to do that in front of a two-year old?! That really pissed me off and made me feel a little pity for the child, having to learn to be racist to all white people.

Then came the worst part. I went home and my mom immediately started some bullsh*t about how I am costing the family too much money for our water bill. And I only take 10 minutes in the shower each day, 15 minutes tops, and this happens during the summer when my brother is home. So I get blamed for the f*cking water bill because my brother starts his shower at about the same time. But, get this, he takes at least a good hour or two in the shower. So I am getting blamed for my brother's f*ckups in the shower and draining our money on the water bill. Isn't that stupid?! I mentioned this to a very good friend of mine, a neighbor whose name shall remain anonymous, so I will call him Bill. Bill told me that I should suggest to Cat (that is what I will call my biological mother from now on, since she is not worth the title of mother or mom or mommy) that she purchase a second water line for me. So I go and mention this to Cat and my dad, who I will call Tom, since he is not worthy of the title of Father, Dad, or Daddy, both of whom turned around and yelled at me for being stupid and telling our neighbors about our troubles and that it was none of their business, and then said that getting a second water line was too expensive. All this when I know we can afford to go on cruises and out-of-country trips, not to mention renting beach houses and apartments and the great job Tom has! After getting tired of putting up with all the bullsh*t that comes out of their mouths, I told them, plain and simple, to f*ck off and leave me in peace in my shower. They came back and said, "Well, why don't YOU pay the water bill, dummy!" I felt like a squashed bug that time. And now, this summer, the last summer my dumbf*ck brother will ever spend at home, will be even worse. But the happy news is that we will no longer have to put up with him anymore, since he is continuing his studies and getting ready to attend an out-of-state university and won't be coming back anytime soon.

However, I will have to put up with the grief of him graduating, since I will be shoved, as usual, into second place and virtually ignored as well as called some really insulting names. At times, I feel like I am not worth anything to anyone and not worthy of anything better in life, since I will be receiving SSI and cannot earn more than $200 in money or otherwise. That means I will not be able to get a decent job for the rest of my life and that I will always be working as a part-time employee and, in a sense, always in second place and considered unimportant in society.

However, there is some hope to all this sh*t; even though I will never get a decent job, I will be able to work two part-time jobs, one at Winn-Dixie in my current position, and the other, at Walmart as a greeter. That will also give me some time to complete some artwork and do freelance work for different businesses as a Publisher. That means I will be able to create and design flyers, brochures and the like for businesses, both new and/or old, renowned and/or unknown. And I will have more time to devote to the numerous novels that have been neglected.

But I am still feeling tormented in my heart...

Don't worry though, as this feeling will go away pretty quickly and I will be my usual cheerful self again.

And to $Moonbeam13 I'm sorry for the insulting comment I left on one of your news articles here (the one about the Okami Contest). I spoke without wisdom and reading the news in its entirety. Now that I have been exposed to the Wii Nintendo gaming platform, I am desperate to own a Wii for myself! I am absolutely addicted to it! I just wish I had enough time to submit a decent background picture featuring Okami and another character. I am so, soooo, sorry for that rude comment and am deeply ashamed of myself. As I should be.

Anyway, tootles everyone!

~Reb29